Male Underwear: Marketing the male package 1 – Big claims
November 10, 2007
The unique suspensor design promotes male fertility.
You’re joking?! Or…
Seven words start a hands-on exploration of men’s underwear.
OK, so here’s the meaty part of the advert text, from GQ, December 2007, page 388, UK edition. The photographs above accompanied the text.
ASDRUMARK. Bring to you ‘Internationally acclaimed’ and ‘award winning’ designer underwear from Mundo Unico. Two unique collections are produced each year offering collectable designs which are taking the UK by storm owing to their comfort, quality and design comparable to none. The unique suspensor design promotes male fertility. (info on where to, how to get them)
Pass lightly over what those quotation marks are doing: drawing attention to marketing phrases, yes, but oddly making them seem uncertain or ironic.
Let the question but briefly stir your imagination: How are the designs collectable? They come printed on cards for swapping with close friends or intimate strangers? Or collectable in a more stalkerish way? Or…? No, stop there.
Turn now to consider the headline claim: “The unique suspensor design promotes male fertility.”
Well that’s claim worth a closer look! Should fertility clinics worry? Does this eye-bite even mean ‘improves sperm count’? Or does it just mean you’re ‘more likely to have the opportunity’ when wearing these? It’s all down to what ‘promotes’ is getting up to.
Time to find the supporting evidence for this claim! And where better to look than the website promoted in the advert, that of the distributor, AsdruMark.
Nothing. Not a shred about the ‘unique suspensor design’, nor about ‘Internationally acclaimed’ and ‘award winning’.
What to do? Searching on Google for that teasing sentence brings nothing. Striping away excess words, suspensor design proves to be enough to give a lead…
… Unico-Shop in Berlin, for which this is the online shop that annoyingly creates it’s own browser experience, as does its alternative German address at unico-shop.de; unfortunately “unico-shop.de” is the name they also brand the easier-to-use site at www.underwear-unico.de; which hasn’t been well enough designed to use a human-readable web address, rather than the numbered address (http://126.96.36.199/shop2/index.php?user=unico).
Somewhere in here, it turns out that Mundo Unico is from Colombia. And at last some text! In translation-English. But at least that Google search also leads to the page that should have been to hand on AsdruMark’s site, Unico Design Theory, where the translation-English has been tidied up, though to little effect.
The ‘suspensor’ designed by the Unico company, and included in all of their products, has two essential benefits that have lead other male underwear manufacturers to follow the suspensor design.
The suspensor benefits are:
Genital Care. The suspensors unique design gives anatomical positioning to the penis and testicles while keeping separation between the body and the genitals allowing a lower testicular temperature in order to help spermatogenesis.
Aesthetic. The suspensor supports the genitals thus enhancing body definition and the man’s anatomy.
At last, confirmation of both the suspected meanings of ‘promote’: medical and visual.
Visiting some of the individual product pages, I later found that the “Description” link on each product page goes to the “design theory” page. This is strange, I find – in fact, I find it bizarre – that the theory is used to describe products. Wouldn’t something about the individual item make more snese?
Still, it’s a little disappointing. (Not just for the American spelling of aesthetic, or providing an ‘adequate’ definition!) The science of overheated genitals and lower fertility may be well known, but where’s the much needed evidence? Firstly, a medical test that the suspensor design improves spermatogenesis; secondly, a survey that it makes men more attractive, or even that they believe they are.
Poking fun apart (with a hint of seriousness about making claims), it’s a shame for Mundo Unico that these websites don’t promote the goods better. For a line that supposedly competes with Calvin Klein, it’s seems like poor brand management.
At least the photographs make the underwear look really good!
But it’s clear I haven’t got the whole story yet. Perhaps there’s something staring me in the face that I’ve missed.
This entry is part of the Male Underwear: Marketing the Male Package & Mundo Unico Series.